Saturday, October 2, 2010

Getting Ganged up on

This happened during our trip but I felt it needed its own post.

I talk with my old girlfriends. just because the relationship did not work out does not mean there is not some sort of connection between us. I still have feeling for these women but they are tempered with the fact that I know that living together in a romantic relationship is not healthily for ether one of us. This attachment and continued contact with my ex girlfriends caused a gang up on me and I do admit it was called for.

my last ex and I have been working to get together for lunch or dinner at some point and we were talking about it for last week. I did not make a firm commitment as I was not sure if I could make it and I needed to talk with my women about it first. My good girl is okay with it but my independent woman has issues. Both women agree it should not be a just me visit. While talking about the visit with my ex she asked if I could stay the night. after some talking I discovered that she was wanting to have sex on the visit. I admit that I do miss the sex we had but the relationship had issues and there are things that would not work. Number one is that she needs to have another relationship outside of me but does not want me to have a relationship with my good girl. I am not a cuck and was not happy with this. When I mention that both my ex and my good girl would need to be romantically involved the ex tells me she can not share me. I did not even mention my independent woman as I know that would not go over well at all. My ex believes that my independent woman is going to cause issues with the law for me. The conversation with the ex works it way n to what she needs in a relationship and the discussion on the visit is tabled and we do not get back to it. The ex needed to go and we never got back to the visit.

As there was no commitment made for the visit I went on the road trip for with my two women. during the drive my ex calls and is upset because I am not going to visit even though I said I would. I had not made a commitment and reminded her of that and proceeded to have a small argument in from of my current girl friends. The ex quickly hung up and the aftermath of the call did not go well for me.

My good girl is upset. she radiates annoyance and I ask her to talk about it. She feels blindsided about the visit and as such is agitated. I go on and mention that the ex also wanted to have sex on the visit and that did not go well at all. I hear that the ex is not respecting the fact that what we had is gone and the ex is also not respecting the relationships I currently have. The independent woman also mentions that she feels that even though the relationship is over I am still hers and the other women do not matter. They think I am missing the subtly of her tyring to manipulate me into getting back together with her. I am happy in my life now and I am told by the ex she is happy where she is at. I feel that I am being lied to by her again. If she happy where she is why would she be trying to get together this is not the first time she has lied to me. In fact the relationship with the ex started on a lie and I was lied too other times; this is just the tip of issues I had in a relationship with her. I do not plan to get back in a relationship with her and even though I miss the sex I know it is not something I can do.

Both of the women in life have a right to be upset I should have mentioned the her wanting me to visit before then so they were not blindsided by the call. I did not make any commitments to the ex and it did not occur to me to mention it to them. I reassured them I am not going anywhere and not looking to get back with the ex. they are my life now and I am happy with they way my life is. I will not give up my life with them for the life of where I had issues on what seems like an every day biases.

My good girl has apologized for ganging up on me about the issue but I have told them it is okay in this case. They both need to express them self and if I do something that upsets them both I just get it two fold. I am a big guy and I can take it and fully expect to be ganged up on again in the future and more than just a few times.

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