As a poly there are things that need communicated; things that should be communicated right away. What may seem Small and no never mind the others in the group my feel slighted and get upset over it. Also it is important to remember not all conversations happen with everyone in the same room. I recently went though one such instance where my failing to communicate properly created bad feelings.
NikkiNeeds(her online name as I still have no pet name for her) wanted to go on a picnic after I got off work last Monday and I agreed. It sounded like a good idea as I was going to have a full weekend with my good girl. Before Nikki asked I had talked about empanadas that same Monday with my good girl and she was going to be making them. When I agreed to the picnic I had forgot about the empanadas and did not think much about them or knew exactly what was involved with making them or her though processes behiond them. I just though meat in a pastry shell; being anglo I have little idea about how intricate ethnic food can get. During my weekend date at the Chicago Botanical Gardens ( I recommend this for a great day trip date to anyone in the area) I brought up the picnic thing and it hurt my good girl. I mentioned we could go ahead and do them Tuesday on my day off and I could help. She understood that I did not understand the reasoning behind the empanadas and that my mind does not get things like that; it is a short coming I am afraid I will never over come. The cooking and creation of the item was something special for her, a way to show her feelings for me in a way that is special to her and unique to her; me helping out with them it takes away from the specialness.
I did not hurt her intentionally but an unintentional hurt can sting just as bad. If I talked about things right away instead of waiting till later i do not think i would have hurt my good girl.
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