Saturday, September 18, 2010

good and bad all in a few hours

So last night I am needed by my independent woman. She has had a hard day at home between her sister and mother fighting and needed so alone time with me. She came over and we send time talking and cuddling and she went from having a bad day to a good night. She is sent home feeling happy and good about the world. Life is once again on a good course for her. This is what I do good at. I may not talk well, I may put my foot in my mouth on a regular biases but when it comes to needing a safe and happy feeling place to go I am the person to see.

8 hours later I make it home. and head to bed. It was a long night as as I see my bed i let out this heavy sigh. My good girl is sorta awake and hears this and thinks something is wrong. I tell her nothing is wrong, i am fine and she can go back to sleep. Well she keeps asking and all i can say is i am fine nothing is wrong and go back to bed. Little do I know this is hurting her feelings. I am bad at reading people. We wake later that day around 5:30 ish and I get ready for a long night of getting paid for doing nothing, I get out of the shower and find her in bed cuddling a pillow as she is sitting there watching TV. I ask her if she needs to cuddle and she says yes. I had hurt her feeling and was "grumpy" so she needed to cuddle and I was heading out to work. I feel bad about this. I did not mean to hurt her feelings I just felt that she needed to rest and wanted her to go back to sleep. So now all I want to do is to stay home and make her feel all better too. I can't so I am going to spend the entire night worrying about how I messed up again with one of the women in my life. I can not seem to get a break. I ether upset one or the other...

I am a guy and am only good at a few things. What I am good at I excel; at and every thing else I fail at badly. I am lucky to have tow women who recognize this and forgive me for the short comings I have and understand I can not over come them. I am an old dog and there are tricks that are beyond me.

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